Seven Mistakes Even Good Communicators Make
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Is your career stuck in neutral? Are your relationships not all you want them to be? Research is very clear. Your ability to communicate effectively is a make-or-break career (and life) skill.
Sadly, even extraordinary professionals sometimes make mistakes that can damage their credibility, harm engagement, and lead to misunderstanding and conflict. By becoming more aware of the way in which you are unintentionally sabotaging your communication success and creating new, more productive communication habits, you can become a better leader, a more valuable and effective employee, and have more impact, credibility, and influence.
Boost your impact, credibility, and influence
1.Discover the top mistakes professionals make when communicating up the ladder.
2.Master powerful words and phrases to replace old, credibility-sucking, habits.
3.Uncover your personal communication weaknesses and learn how to overcome them.
4.Top tools to make your contributions stand out in the crowd.
Build better relationships with everyone—at work and at home
1.Learn words and phrases that can shut people down or trigger defensiveness—and how to avoid making the mistake of using them.
2.Leverage small changes in how you respond to others that can help them feel more understood, valued, and respected.
3.Develop the mindset that can help you get along better with others—even those who are different from you.
Mistakes to avoid during conflict and confrontation
1.Discover the perils and pitfalls of passive-aggressiveness and how to avoid them.
2.Avoid surefire ways to increase hostility by making wise word choices.
3.Master savvy tools top communicators use—and what they avoid—for better conflict resolution.
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Pamela Jett
Innovative Communication LeaderAs an internationally recognized communication skills expert, speaker and author, Pamela Jett works with professionals to better understand that "Words Matter" when we are looking to achieve results, make an impact and improve effectiveness. Pamela is a true innovator [...]
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This webinar received a total of 7 survey responses. Attendees have given an average rating of 4.7 stars out of a possible 5, reflecting the quality and value of the content presented.
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It was a great presentation! Alot of good content! The presentation and presenter gave me a lot of different ways to communicate and ways I shouldn't say things. It opened my eyes and will help me communicate better with my colleagues and others around me.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Even skilled communicators fall into habitual patterns that quietly erode their credibility and influence over time. Among the most damaging mistakes is over-hedging — using phrases like 'I'm not sure, but...,' 'This might be wrong,' or 'I just wanted to...' that dilute the impact of otherwise strong ideas and signal insecurity rather than humility. Communicating up the ladder without adapting the message to the executive audience — providing too much detail, burying the key point, or failing to lead with recommendations — is another frequent credibility killer. Using words and phrases that trigger defensiveness or shut people down — absolute language like 'you always' or 'you never,' blame-oriented framing, or passive-aggressive responses to conflict — damages relationships and reduces the speaker's influence. Mismanaging listening — thinking about what to say next rather than genuinely absorbing what is being communicated — leads to responses that miss the point, frustrate the speaker, and erode trust. Each of these mistakes is correctable once the communicator becomes aware of them, and the combined effect of addressing even two or three simultaneously can significantly shift how colleagues, managers, and clients perceive a professional's competence and leadership capability.
Communicating upward — with executives, senior leaders, or boards — requires a distinctly different approach than peer-level communication, and many professionals make costly mistakes by failing to adapt. The most common error is leading with context before the main point: executives typically want conclusions and recommendations first, with supporting detail available on request, not a narrative that builds to a recommendation at the end. A second frequent mistake is using technical or team-level jargon that the executive audience does not share, creating friction and obscuring the message's strategic significance. Failing to frame the communication in terms of business impact — revenue, cost, risk, customer experience, or competitive position — means the message competes poorly for executive attention. Bringing problems without proposed solutions signals a request for guidance rather than leadership, which reduces credibility over time. Finally, communications that are too long — detailed emails when a three-line summary would serve, or lengthy presentations when a one-page brief would do — signal poor judgment about the audience's time and priorities. Professionals who consistently lead with the most important point, frame in business terms, bring solutions with problems, and calibrate length to audience build a reputation as strategic thinkers rather than task-level contributors.
Certain words and phrases reliably trigger defensiveness or emotional shutdown in listeners, making the actual message impossible to receive no matter how well-intentioned the communicator is. Absolute language is among the most common triggers: 'You always...' or 'You never...' provoke immediate disagreement and a focus on exceptions rather than the behavior being addressed. Blame-forward framing — 'The reason this happened is that you...' or 'If you had just...' — activates self-defense rather than receptivity. Dismissive minimizing language like 'It's not a big deal' or 'You're overreacting' invalidates the other person's experience and shuts down dialogue. 'But' used after an acknowledgment — 'I hear what you're saying, but...' — functionally erases the acknowledgment and signals that the validation was strategic rather than genuine. Replacing 'but' with 'and' often produces a noticeably different reception: 'I hear what you're saying, and I want to share a different perspective.' Questions that are really thinly veiled criticism — 'Did you really think that was a good idea?' — breed resentment rather than reflection. Professional communicators replace these patterns with specific, behavior-focused language, genuine curiosity, and acknowledgment that does not immediately pivot to disagreement. The result is higher-quality conversations and faster resolution of even difficult topics.
Conflict is inevitable in professional settings, but the communication approach used in the moment of conflict largely determines whether it results in resolution, escalation, or a permanently damaged relationship. Common mistakes during conflict include responding immediately from an emotional state rather than pausing to compose a thoughtful reply — a brief pause, even just a breath or a moment of silence, significantly improves the quality of the response. Passive-aggressive responses — indirect expressions of frustration through sarcasm, withholding, or subtle undermining — feel safer in the moment but create lasting damage to professional relationships and reputations. Focusing on being right rather than on resolving the underlying issue keeps conflicts alive far longer than necessary. Using accusatory second-person framing ('You did...' or 'You didn't...') increases defensiveness, while first-person observation language ('I noticed...' or 'My understanding was...') opens dialogue. Effective conflict resolution communication involves stating the specific behavior or issue without character attribution, expressing the impact clearly, inviting the other person's perspective with genuine curiosity, and focusing the conversation on the path forward rather than relitigating past events. Professionals who develop these skills resolve conflicts more quickly, preserve relationships through disagreement, and build reputations as mature, trustworthy colleagues.
Standing out professionally is often as much about how you communicate contributions as the quality of the contributions themselves — ideas that are poorly communicated are frequently invisible, while mediocre ideas presented with confidence and clarity can command disproportionate attention. Several communication strategies consistently help professionals increase their visibility and impact. First, become comfortable claiming ownership of your ideas explicitly: 'I'd like to propose...' rather than 'Someone might consider...' makes it clear who the idea came from. Second, frame contributions in terms of their value to the team or organization, not just the mechanics of the proposal — 'This approach would reduce our processing time by 30%' is far more memorable than 'We could change the workflow.' Third, practice brevity: the ability to express a complex idea in a concise, well-organized way signals intellectual clarity and respects others' time — both of which build credibility. Fourth, speak up early in meetings: research shows that people who contribute early in group discussions are perceived as more confident and competent than those who wait. Finally, follow up verbal contributions with written summaries — email recaps of key decisions, proposals, or commitments — create a documented trail that reinforces your contribution and ensures it is not lost in the moment.