February is a month filled with hearts wherever you go. Love it or hate it…St. Valentine’s Day is here to stay like many other contemporary holidays along with their commercialization. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We have choices – it starts with awareness.
Like many other holidays, it had its start in pagan days, later with religious affiliations, evolving into a celebration of romance and love over the centuries throughout many world countries. Although celebration of February 14 had its origins before AD 500 and tied to martyrdom, it wasn’t until the 14-15th centuries that expressions of love were tied to the day. In the 18th century, the expression of love through cards and gifts began. Commercialization as we know it today got its big start in the 19th century – it’s been around for a while.
But in some world circles, St. Valentine’s Day connects the saint and the day with the advent of spring.
For me, it’s also a month filled with family and friend birthdays, including my own. It’s a time for celebration in many ways. Quite a lot for the shortest month of the year but it stirs a sense of excitement for what’s ahead.
You can feel a change in the air about this time with birds chirping in the early morning, unlike the colder winter months. It starts to feel light and fresh.
For those not in a relationship, Valentine’s Day can feel lonely. For those in a relationship, it can feel stressful around what to expect from your loved one and disappointment when the expectation(s) are not met.
As I contemplated where I’ve been…where the world has been, where we are now, and what looks to be ahead, I reflected on the challenges I’ve faced and the many my clients face.
What I realized is that we often make things too complicated, reading into things from our own limited perspectives without talking and learning from each other’s different viewpoints. And, we react in the moment, taking things personally as an attack or criticism, rather than pausing to reflect on what we hear and what it means by continuing the conversation and asking open, inquiring and thoughtful questions.
We carry around old hurts and pain, holding on to past negative events, all of which skew our perception of the present and what the future can hold. We often stay stuck in the past.
It takes courage and curiosity to break from old patterns of behavior that prevent us from getting what we want and where we want to go.
I challenge you to use this Valentine’s season to set aside the words, the swords and shields of protection we use to arm ourselves and, instead, learn to have conversations, not confrontations.
In contemplating this article, the words “love, love, love” popped into my brain and I was drawn to the 1960’s song by the Beatles, specifically written by John Lennon. Let me share what I learned…
John was fascinated by how slogans effect the masses and was trying to capture the same essence as songs like "We Shall Overcome." He once stated, "I like slogans. I like advertising. I love the telly." In a 1971 interview about his song "Power to The People," he was asked if that song was propaganda. He said, "Sure. So was 'All You Need Is Love.' I'm a revolutionary artist. My art is dedicated to change.”
Should our hearts, this Valentine month, be dedicated to change? What can we bring to the table to influence change in positive ways, develop awareness and make choices to bring lightness and fresh starts to our relationships at every level?
“All You Need Is Love” was a popular saying in the ‘60s anti-war movement. The Beatles played the song for the first time on the first worldwide TV special as part of the "Our World" project, broadcast in 24 countries on June 25, 1967. The show featured music from 6 continents, with The Beatles representing Britain, and lasted six hours. Some definite ‘firsts’ emerged from this mindset to effect change.
John and Paul responded to a request in late May of 1967 to develop a song that could be understood by people of all nations. Hmmm, that seems applicable in today’s troubled world and nations across the globe, not to mention the troubled relationships we experience around us.
Both John and Paul started working on separate songs at the time. Ultimately, John's "All You Need Is Love" was selected as the better choice because it was easy to understand the simple message of love and peace as well as easy to play with words easy to remember.
Here’s where we can lean on the works of John and Paul along with other influencers of the 60s by looking at what’s been done in the past and what can be brought into the future. We can make our relationships easier by going back to the basics of conversation, not confrontation, along with developing skills for effective communication and expanding awareness of how to make it come alive. It’s really not that difficult as we strive to remove the chaos and drama.
The writing and lyrics found in ‘All You Need Is Love’ are typical of John’s musical style: three long notes ("love -love -love") with a rise of excitement, climax and a redeeming end.
Can we apply this simple structure to our conversations and exchanges in our relationships of love this month of romance and beyond?
What can you take from these lyrics, knowing John’s intent and the purpose of the song, and apply to your own life?
All You Need Is Love Lyrics
[Intro]
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
[Verse 1]
There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
[Verse 2]
Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy
[Chorus]
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
[Bridge]
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love
[Verse 3]
There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy
[Chorus]
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
[Outro]
All you need is love (All together now)
All you need is love (Everybody)
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
Sources:
https://Songfacts.com
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/valentines-day-ideas/a34930808/history-of-valentines-day/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day